November 22, 2009
November 21, 2009
November 20, 2009
agree with much of it
by Norm Ephraim, Ed.D.
"Let’s face it. We all want to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is a common pursuit. We all realize, sooner or later, that outer success does not produce lasting happiness.
So what does? Loving ourselves and loving others. In fact, we can only love others authentically when we love ourselves.
So why is it that some people seem to feel self love easily, while others spend their lives searching in relationships or career accomplishments to find it? While it may seem cliche, the answer does seem to point to experiences in childhood.
What we know as self esteem begins, originally, in the esteem parents have for their children. Through the simplest acts of touch, attention to feelings, and guidance toward accomplishment, a child comes to see their own worth reflected in their parents’ eyes. They see themselves as love-able i.e. worthy and able to be loved.
These feelings are so powerful that they have been found to influence longevity. When through various forms of abuse and neglect a child fails to get this mirror of love, two things happen. First the child begins to take in the feeling of defectiveness or un-loveability. Since, to a child, a parent is God, parental abuse and neglect (including insensitivity to feelings) is experienced as justified. "If mommy or daddy treats me this way, it must be my fault."
A second thing also happens. Children are masters at devising strategies to get love or prevent abandonment. A common "protective strategy" is perfectionism. "If I'm perfect, then mommy or daddy will love me."
The search for perfection can become a lifetime one, whether it be for the perfect partner, the perfect accomplishment, or the perfect amusement or "high." But the result will always be disappointing. Nothing can replace self love.Is there hope for those who didn't get enough love in childhood? The answer is a resounding yes!!..."
continued at SelfhelpMagazine.com
we forget the drives for the outer world
we reminisce on what we once were, or once thought ourselves to be
& we look a little deeper into what we are beneath this life
we are coming to a close on
life brings more meaning,
maybe not more attempts at meaning
but more meaning
but do we find light?
or do we only find the beginning of an almost timeless search again?...
we find more meaning
that is enough for now
let us enjoy this twilight
& look a little more closely at the life in front of us, in us, and surrounding us on all sides
in the twilight of life,
we can see things in a new way
November 17, 2009
November 16, 2009
~Sardar Bahadur Maharaj Ji